I wasn’t going to post anything today, but the blogger in me had to write something. When I first started blogging, I used to participate in a blog link-up with the hashtag #wifeywednesday. I’m in the middle of a divorce, and today is Wednesday and my twentieth wedding anniversary.
For a while, my tagline was wife in progress. Let’s say I was committed. Until… I wasn’t.
Out of respect for my soon-to-be ex-husband and our children, I won’t get into the reasons for the divorce. However, because I am a blogger, I thought I’d take you on my journey to becoming an ex-wife and single mother.
I expected to have bittersweet emotions today, but all I feel is a relief that I can finally say this out loud and that I am in a position to move on with my life gracefully, knowing that I was the best wife I could be. I look forward to building an abundant, prosperous life filled with love, happiness, and peace.
Initially, my blog was where I could share my highs, lows, and other ruminations. I told the truth back then but started hiding because my life wasn’t what I imagined it would be. When you hide, you become invisible. You lose yourself.
Over the past seven or eight years, I found myself again. I think that’s why I stopped writing. I realized I could not truthfully share my life or be an effective writer because I was holding back. Good writers can’t hold back.
I also stopped writing because I needed to be responsible. I understand better than most the adage that hurt people hurt people. I refused to allow my pain to seep into my writing and cause my words to be hurtful or misdirected. Over the past few years, I have gone to therapy, done some soul-searching, spent time studying, and, most importantly, healing.
My core values haven’t changed.
I believed in God.
I believe that marriage is symbolic of Christ’s relationship with the church.
I believe being a woman is much more than being a wife and mother.
I believe that serving and honoring God with my whole heart is my greatest purpose.
I believe that I am called to write. You must live to write. So, that’s what I will do.