Today, I celebrated 18 years of marriage.


Just in case you didn’t know, marriage is work. Even if you have the best relationship with your spouse, it takes effort to have a fulfilling relationship. Below are a few things I’ve learned.

  1. Be yourself.
  2. Allow your spouse to be himself.
  3. Be open to growth–yours and his.
  4. Biblical submission empowers. Religious submission oppresses. Chose how you submit wisely.
  5. The Proverbs 31 Woman is an empowered woman.
  6. There is a Proverbs 31 Man who compliments her.
  7. You don’t need permission. Only information.
  8. Communication is more than saying. It is observing, listening, and responding, too.
  9. Prayer will change you before it changes him.
  10. Love is an action word.
  11. Love never fails but your spouse will.
  12. Marriage is a commitment between two people. Anyone else in the mix creates an imbalance.
  13. Make time for your spouse–uninterrupted.
  14. Make time for yourself–uninterrupted.
  15. You can live your purpose alongside your spouse. Your life does not need to be consumed by his.
  16. Choose friends who are friends of your marriage.
  17. Make your bedroom a safe space. No arguing. No heavy discussions.
  18. Fight fair.

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