I admit it. I’m an Oprah junkie. I’m not a member of the Church of Oprah. But, I am a lifelong fan.
I often read read books from her book club picks. And, I am often proud that I’ve already read books she suggests. In my head, Oprah and I discuss heroes and heroines, ways to live our best lives, and how to position ourselves (me) so that I can be an effective business woman and community server. It’s all about service, right?
Oprah, who is not married, has been a champion for the victimized woman. She encourages women to find ways to overcome obstacles, let go of mess—in relationships and from their homes, and to enjoy their favorite things. So, imagine my surprise when I received the October issue of O Magazine.
A cover article titled “Could You Forgive His Cheating Heart? Confessions of a Love Warrior” intrigued me. I flipped to the story and it left me wanting more. Who was this Glennon Doyle Melton? What made her so unapologetically able to share her truth?
According to InfidelityFacts.com, roughly 41% of married people admit to having extramarital affairs. Thirty-one percent of these marriages survive after they’ve been rocked by the news. But, how?
I had to read Love Warrior to find out. And, by read, I mean I listened to the book. Gotta love Audible, right?
In many ways, Glennon is all women. She struggled through her childhood, putting on the happy face until she couldn’t anymore. Years of stuffing down her feelings drove her into depression and eventually into a mental institution. She learned how to feel and how to mask those feelings with alcohol and unhealthy relationships. She put on the mask that women everywhere wear—the everything is fine mask.
We don the everything is fine mask at work, for our family and friends, and even the people we should be most transparent with—our lovers, our spouses. Both Glennon and her husband, Craig, lost themselves behind personas, never allowing the other to experience realness.
Eventually, in counseling, Glennon’s husband admitted that he’d had a series of one night stands throughout their marriage. He was a perfect husband and father with a problem. Of course Glennon reacted. She kicked him out. She was hurt. But, then the unimaginable happened. She, through a study of the Bible and religion and womanhood, let the walls down. Eventually, she decided to fight for her husband, her marriage, and her family.
The Love Warrior
She wasn’t in it alone. Craig is the type of man who wouldn’t go away. Even in their separation he devoted himself to Glennon, their children and community. They fought side by side in an effort to start again, committed to one another.
The great thing about this book is that it shows that love can conquer all if you allow it. Love Warrior also gives us permission to try and fail. She makes it clear that this is right for her “right now” and if it doesn’t work, it is still not a failure. And, it didn’t work. On August 1—just over a month before the September release of Love Warrior—Glennon announced to her Momastery blog readers that she and Craig decided to separate.
While there are many things in the book that I disagree with, I do believe that if you have a spouse willing to be transparent and work with you to build a better, stronger marriage it doesn’t hurt to try. But, at the end of the day it is your decision on whether or not you want to try.
No situation is identical. As women, we must be celebrated if we choose to go or if we choose to stay. Either way, the woman fights.
We fight for our marriages.
We fight for our children.
We fight for ourselves.
We fight for love.