Have you ever sat down and had a conversation with people who have been married for a long time and seem genuinely happy with themselves and one another. I have. Ironically, all of them are Christian or were raised in Christian households. This is not to say that non-Christians don’t have long, harmonious marriages—only a documentation of couples that I’ve encountered with healthy marriages. Who wouldn’t want a powerful marriage?
My word for the year is integrity. The goal is to be whole and undivided in every area of my life this year. After God, my marriage is second on my list of priorities. And, my commitment to my marriage is singular in my heart for God—my relationship with Him. Over the past few months I’ve revisited my notes from premarital counseling. Fourteen years later, I still have them and should refer to them more. I have also looked over resources from marriage conferences and information from couples who’s relationships represent what a powerful marriage is.
I know. If I’m not in the marriage, I’m outside looking in. At the same time, there is so much to be gleaned by simply watching how couples interact with each other with touch and looks. It is not about what a couple has or do. It is about how they treat each other. Believe me. If a marriage has gone sour, you can see it in a couple’s eyes and hear it in how they speak of the other. But, I digress.
5 Interesting Books for a Powerful Marriage
This list actually contains more than five books. Some of the books have a male version and a female version. When possible, the titles of the books will have links to Amazon. Or, you can shop the widget below for the books and other items I mention from stores across the web.
- The Bible. It is the best selling book of all times for a reason. The Bible is the best place to learn the heart of God so that you can be motivated to live right. Reading the Bible will help you with your marriage so that you will know how to live and love right. If you love God, you can have an unwavering commitment to your mate.
- His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage. While no books can prevent affairs, being committed to your mate can. Wedding vows are not enough to stay committed. Otherwise, there would be very broken hearts due to extramarital affairs. This book provides advices and viable solutions to help men and women stay faithful to one another.
- The Resolution for Women/The Resolution for Men. These books weren’t published when I got married. I wish they were. These books use Biblical principles to help men and women to be who they are in Christ individually so that they can be more effective people. It took me a while (2+ years) to fully commit to The Resolution because I don’t think my heart was in the right place.
- Fervent/The Battle Plan for Prayer. While The Battle Plan for Prayer can be used by both men and women, Fervent actually tackles prayer from a woman’s perspective. Often we are pulled in so many directions that we don’t know where to begin, often losing ourselves to marriage, family, work and community obligations. In order to be successful, we have to know who our enemy is. Even if you have a rough spot in your marriage, your spouse is not your enemy.
- The Five Love Languages. I read this book before I got married and a few years into my marriage. It wasn’t until this year, yes January 2016, that I got it. Well, not so much that I got it but realizing that being clear about my love language made it easier to speak to him in his. In other words, I had to believe that I was important enough to have my love language spoken to me as I spoke his love language. If you don’t know your native language, it will be difficult to speak another.
Bonus Book: The Power of a Praying Wife
Because this blog is primarily geared to women… While Fervent was absolutely necessary to improve my prayer life by being strategic. The Power of a Praying Wife taught me two things: 1) God won’t always change other people. He will change me first. 2) How to pray, I mean really pray for my husband. And, mean it.
Other Items in a Powerful Marriage Arsenal
Being married is a spiritual, emotional and physical journey. Reading books for insight is one thing. Taking the time to implement what you read takes commitment while investing in each other is another. Below are a few things you can do to have a powerful marriage.
- Be together. It isn’t possible to be with each other 24-hours a day but it is possible to be together. This means carrying your spouse with you—in your heart and thoughts—no matter where you go.
- Do things together. After God and before anyone or anything else, your mate is your priority. Yes. Your kids, jobs, friends, etc. need you but your mate needs you more. Make time for date nights, long walks through your neighborhood (or on the beach), church and other activities. Some things you can do as a couple, with other couples or with your family.
- Serve one another. I cook. My husband enjoys homemade meals so I cook, fix his plate and then serve it to him. It doesn’t make me feel less than. It simply reinforces my desire to please him. And, I enjoy cooking. He knows I hate washing dishes so he pitches in there as often as his schedule allows. If you’re not a good cook or don’t like to cook, there are other ways to serve your mate—give manicures, cut the grass in his place, pick up his dry cleaning, read to him. Think about his love language.
- Look good. Most of us don’t have Beyonce’s body, money or time. But, we can make good use of what we have. Take care of your skin, hair and nails. Wear nice things to bed. It doesn’t have to be satin and lace every night. Cute camisoles and shorts are a great compromise. You get comfort. He gets to touch your skin. You can even buy him the boxers or pajamas you want to see him in.
While I don’t profess to have a powerful marriage, I want one. So, I’m open to tips. What books have you read on marriage? What advice have you received that has helped you? Comment below. Leave a link if you have one to share.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”