You Can’t Get It Back

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Life is a journey inhibited by time.

When babies come into the world they are called newborns. In a few weeks they become infants, then toddlers, and preschoolers and so one. After kindergarten, those little wide eyed kindergarteners become bright eyed elementary students. Everything is segmented and compartmentalized in ages and stages dictated by time.

In the ignorance of youth we tend to believe that time is an infinite resource. Even as we manage a life filled with 24 hour days and see loved ones die old or far too young we convince ourselves that we have more time. We busy ourselves with video games and golf. We lose ourselves in television shows, movies and books. We put off calling a friend or loved one. We tell ourselves that we’ll enroll in college to finish a degree abandoned years ago.

You Can't Get It Back

We play the field. We waster our time trying to be the right person fro the wrong partner. We break hearts. And, we have our hearts broken by people we shouldn’t have relationships with in the first place.

We believe lies. We ignore truth. We ignore our instinct.

Lately, I’ve been living my own pity party of woulda shoulda coulda. Yes, I’ve been lamenting over some of the piss poor decisions I made in my life. I turned 39 a few weeks ago. I guess being middle aged will make you contemplate your inevitable fate.

With every passing moment, I inch closer to the end of my life. As aware as I am, I often get lost in the I can do it or have it later lie.

Nothing is promised.

Not time.

Not love.

With the exception of God’s love, nothing is constant.

At the beginning of the year, I declared 2015 to be my year of freedom. And, as hard as it has been I am getting there. I’m learning how to be free.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned over this journey is that freedom isn’t free. There are sacrifices that must be made. You must spend your time wisely or you will fall back into whatever slavery you want to escape. There is a cost associated with everything.

Time pays for everything but never returns to you as time. Time pays for the rest you need in order to work and then you use more time to work. You use time to spend the money you worked for and then use time to eat. At the end of the day, what you have or don’t have is a by-product of how you used your time. I chose not to write “didn’t use” because no matter what, time always ticks by. Whether you do anything with it productive or not, your time is being used if you are breathing.

The journey to freedom comes at a hard cost—realizing that I’ve wasted an enormous amount of time on people, places and things that didn’t benefit me.

I’ve spent time serving and giving to people who only used me. I’m slowly removing those people out of my life and replacing them with mutually beneficial friendships.

I’ve spent time in places I had absolutely no place being. I’m now being decisive about where I go and who gets to come along for the ride.

I’ve spent lots of time holding on to things that simply take up space and cause me to burn energy to maintain. I moved recently and got rid of years of stuff. Some of it was shredded or thrown out while a good portion of it was given to charity, gifted to friends and neighbors. I’ve also left a few items in boxes to toss if I don’t use within a certain amount of time.

My ultimate goal is to live in absolute freedom. I can’t get my time back and all of the time before me can be taken with a instant. I’m working on living my life in the moment by enjoying the gifts of a constant God.

As you go about your day be aware that every minute that passes is precious. Be wise with your time. When a minute passes it is gone forever.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” If you click on the link and purchase the item; I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally or believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Makasha Dorsey is an award-winning author, motivational speaker and public relations professional. Her personal essay Diary of an Aspie Mom is included in The Motherhood Diaries (Strebor Books/Simon & Schuster). She blogs about being a writer, mother, wife, woman and Christian over at a wife in progress and has written for Absolute Write, The Midwest Book Review, Snaps1000Words, The Daily Times Leader, and ModVive Magazine. You can purchase a copy of her book First Family Secrets on

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