Without Hindrance or Restraint

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Mull over the title of this post..

For the longest time, I looked at the things most people would consider as blessings as hindrances or restraints. I used my children as an excuse not to work out or to do things for myself. I used my husband and other relationships as an excuse not to pursue dreams and goals. You know, allowing what they think to determine what I would or what not do. I always struggled with the following questions:

  • What if I commit to this and I don’t have a baby sitter?
  • What if I write this and my husband, parents, family or friends are offended?
  • What if I plan to do this and we have to move again?
  • What if I take this job/contract and I don’t have enough money/resources to float the front end?
  • What if I plan this event and no one shows up?
  • What if I do this and it fails?

I never asked myself what if I do this and it is a magnificent success. The problem with my mode of thinking is that I was allowing my life to be a hindrance.

I can commit to something without a babysitter. My friend LaKesha Womack takes her son almost everywhere she goes. Her son is often right beside her behaving like the perfect gentleman he is. I made it a point to raise well-behaved, respectable boys so I might as well use it to my advantage. I can do my best not to offend anyone but be willing to apologize if I do. I don’t have to divulge family secrets but I can be transparent about my struggles. I can tell my story. If I plan something and we have to move again, I can still honor my commitments if I plan properly. If I take a job/contract and need to float the front end, I can get what I need. That is what business partners, small business loans and factoring companies are for. If I plan an event, someone will show up—janitor, blogger, my boys, my husband, someone. If I do it and fail. Then I try again.

Freedom

According to Miriam-Webster, freedom is the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

In addition to the perceived hindrances I’ve had in my life, I’ve also been restrained by a few things. My restraints have been:

  • fear
  • fear of lack
  • procrastination
  • perfection (the attempt at it)
  • stubbornness
  • lack of direction
  • interruptions (not saying “no”)
  • improper planning
  • investing my time in the wrong people, places or things

Everything I listed are easy fixes. I can decided to move even when I’m nervous. As far as my fear of lack, I have everything I need. My fears lead me to procrastination, which leads to the unachievable goal of perfecting everything I do. It won’t ever be perfect so I’m learning to move on with my best. In business, stubbornness can be a good thing if your tunnel vision leads you down a road that has fruit. I have to give up some pet projects (people who) that are draining life and creativity from me while yielding nothing. Moving forward my relationships, personally and professionally, must be mutually beneficial. If it is not adding to my overall development and growth, I have to cut it out of my life. The interruptions and improper planning are also a huge fail. As a mom, I’m often interrupted with sick or I forgot my lunch calls from the kids’ schools. Now, I’m deciding to plan my life in a manner that includes potential interruptions.  Instead of trying to get the boys out of the house in the morning time, my focus will now be on connecting with them so that they are prepared for the day. If I’m connecting with them, I’ll know if they’re sick or if they are rushing out of the house without a lunch box. Also, once the schedule is set for the week, unless there is an emergency, no I will not take on extra tasks, trips to the grocery store or impromptu play dates. Lastly, my time has to go to people who are a right fit for my life.

Knowing what I need to do makes it so much easier to walk in freedom. I don’t have to second guess myself or my actions now because I have a plan that allows me to move about life without hindrance or restraint.

What’s holding you back?

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” If you click on the link and purchase the item; I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally or believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Makasha Dorsey is an award-winning author, motivational speaker and public relations professional. Her personal essay Diary of an Aspie Mom is included in The Motherhood Diaries (Strebor Books/Simon & Schuster). She blogs about being a writer, mother, wife, woman and Christian over at a wife in progress and has written for Absolute Write, The Midwest Book Review, Snaps1000Words, The Daily Times Leader, and ModVive Magazine. You can purchase a copy of her book First Family Secrets on Amazon.com.

2 comments on “Without Hindrance or Restraint”

  1. Kita Reply
    Great post! That babysitting thing always keeps me from going to things. I get invited to so many events and my excuse to not go is I have nothing to wear or I don't have a babysitter. It's always the same.....I have decided to not use those things as an excuse so what if I have to wear the same thing out every time I am still getting out there and networking. If I have to bring my kids along then I have to bring them. Kita recently posted..4 Ways Glue Dots Can Make Home Improvement Easier + Product Giveaway

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