The other day one of my Facebook friends asked a question. She wanted to know if it is ok to chose your husband over your family—mom, dad, sister, brother, etc. Most of the responses screamed that the family that you were born into should always come first because your husband is not blood.
Someone even quoted Genesis 2:24 “that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” and still concluded that your blood family comes first.
I personally believe that there should never be a choice. If a person has to chose between her husband and her family then there is some dysfunction in the relationship period. The dysfunction needs to be addressed and not who comes first.
If your family does not like your husband and forces you to make a choice then you have to chose your mate. You have to see that someone else is trying to control you because they have no faith in your ability to decide.
If your husband is controlling or abusive and tries to keep you from your family then you have to address the dysfunction in the relationship. Again, the control dictates that you are incapable of making a good choice for yourself.
These are not the only scenarios where one would have to make a choice but answering the wrong questions can lead to miscommunication and poor decisions. So I challenge you to identify and eliminate relationship dysfunction so that you won’t have to make a choice.
What do you think? Should you have to chose between your mate and your family? If you had to chose, who would it be?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, I’m surprised by the answers to this question. I would say that your husband ALWAYS comes before your family. I agree with you, though, that having to make that choice points to some dysfunction in the family. However, if you are choosing your family over your husband – well, your marriage is going to suffer for it, in little ways or big. Your husband needs to know that you’re on his team and rooting for him.
Thanks for responding Bonnie. Yes, ones mate should be first. However, I truly believe that when choices have to come to the forefront of your daily action there is some dysfunction present. In every situation that I’ve seen where a choice had to be made, someone’s behavior was rooted in control, abuse, or some other form of dysfunction.
I believe that a wife should always be her husband’s biggest cheerleader.