Wifey Wednesday: Too Angry to Have Sex

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Anger Bot by StickBusEvery Wednesday morning I anticipate that week’s subject of Sheila Wray Gregoire’s Wifey Wednesday blog post. Reading them is like attending a mini-wife’s conference—without the travel or lush hotel rooms. Here topic this week is Too Tired to Have Sex.

As the mom of small children, a full-time student, and a solo business owner, I can agree that fatigue can pull us away from being intimate with our mates. But, our attitudes towards forgiveness and asking for forgiveness can prevent us from seeking intimacy with our mates.

One of best morsels of advice I received as a newlywed was to never go to bed angry at my husband. For years, I thought it was because anger would block me from my relationship with God. Recently—actually just last night—I realized that if I am angry when I go to bed it prevents me from receiving my husband. I was not angry with him last night but yesterday was one of those days he worked late and I had some time to think about things.

So, in tune with Mrs. Gregoire’s dare from last week, I dare to make the following proclamation (maybe you can join me):

I will ask for forgiveness when I hurt him.

I will forgive him when he hurts me.

I will not allow hurt to prevent me from fulfilling my role as a wife.

I will not allow my attitude to get in the way of our intimacy.

I will get adequate rest—mentally and physically—so that I won’t be too tired for sex.

I am a wife in progress so I might not always get it right but I am working towards being the best wife I can be. What’s your focus as a wife? How can you prevent little things from causing a rift in your intimacy with your husband?

Photo Credit: StickBus

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Makasha Dorsey is an award-winning author, motivational speaker and public relations professional. Her personal essay Diary of an Aspie Mom is included in The Motherhood Diaries (Strebor Books/Simon & Schuster). She blogs about being a writer, mother, wife, woman and Christian over at a wife in progress and has written for Absolute Write, The Midwest Book Review, Snaps1000Words, The Daily Times Leader, and ModVive Magazine. You can purchase a copy of her book First Family Secrets on Amazon.com.

6 comments on “Wifey Wednesday: Too Angry to Have Sex”

  1. Sheila Gregoire Reply

    Hi Makasha!

    Thanks so much for being part of Wifey Wednesday! I can relate to what you’re saying about anger. Often our feelings just get hurt, and we feel like we’re low on the priority list, and when we’re tired to begin with, it makes everything worse!

    I think your resolutions are great ones–especially the getting enough rest. It’s amazing how when we’re well rested, the rest doesn’t matter as much.

    • Makasha Dorsey Reply

      I think the lack of rest has been much of my problem. My sisters always say that the mean Makasha awakens when I am tired. Lately, I have been focused more on planning to work/write when the boys are sleeping. I get so much accomplished. Thanks for responding.

  2. Mary Joy @ Snapshots from my Heart & Home Reply

    Sooooo true!!!! We have been married since April 10 of this year so we are still newlyweds. Not going to bed angry is difficult sometimes because we get tired and sometimes its hard to talk it out when you are tired. But it is sure worth it! We have been working very hard on learning the best ways to communicate with each other as husband as wife…sometimes it takes us a while to get it figured out but it is always worth it. And not letting affect our “special time” is extremely important to us because we also have 3 kids so “special time” isn’t always easy to find. Thanks for sharing your story…its great to be reminded.

    • Makasha Dorsey Reply

      Mary Joy,

      Thanks for stopping by. Welcome to the wives club. Marriage is fun. But, just like sports we [married folk] work hard to win. My advice on “special time” – get the kids on a good schedule. It’s worked wonders in my marriage.

  3. Sheri Reply

    Great thoughts. You know,my Mom always told me not to go to bed angry and I didn’t understand it for years either. It took me a long time to realize that going to bed angry allowed my pain and anger to fester and grow.

    • Makasha Dorsey Reply

      Sheri,

      Over the past year or so I have started to figure out many of the old sayings my mom and grandparents used. Thanks for stopping by.

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